Raj Girn: Hi everyone! Welcome to another exciting episode of the ‘Transform Your Confidence’ podcast, a place where we bring you into our inner circle of recommended leaders, experts, and thought leaders to garner their insights of knowledge and techniques that are working today with the goal of levelling up your repertoire of expertise so that you’re always set up to win. We love it when our people win!
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Raj Girn:Â Before we begin, I want to remind you to subscribe to our YouTube channel at The Open Chest Confidence Academy to view all video versions of the show and also search Transform Your Confidence wherever you receive your audio podcasts, so you never miss an episode, when we launch them every 2nd and 4th Thursday of the month. There’s over a hundred of them. You’re going to glean great advice from incredible personalities. So hop on over and do that now, well, actually maybe after this show
On today’s show, we will be focusing on Mindset & Accountability with the theme being, ‘The Best Gift You Will Ever Give Yourself Is CONFIDENCE!’
My favourite topic, you guys know this.
My guest today is Anila Dhami, a multi-award-winning presenter and journalist in the UK – my home – with a career spanning over a decade at some of the largest media outlets in the country. She currently works as a freelance presenter and a reporter for ITV News, ITV News London and Channel 5 News.Â
Anila has hosted live debates on pressing issues, conducted interviews with a wide array of guests from MPs and experts to celebrities. The list just goes on and on. And she is a trusted journalist across TV, radio, and online. She is also seen on the event circuit, hosting events and moderating panel discussions across the UK and is a passionate activist who gives back as a UK ambassador for the children’s charity, Barnardo’s and the menstruation charity, Binti International. She also sits on the advisory board.Â
Oh my God, this woman – I just have so much respect for her – she also sits on the Advisory Board of the Author in Me (AIM) Literary Festival, championing diverse voices in literature. In addition, Anila also helps others build confidence and refine their public speaking skills through her Create Public Speaking Confidence Workshop.Â
Oh my gosh, am I excited to have this conversation with you, sister. Welcome! What a pleasure to finally have you on.
Anila Dhami: Thank you so much for having me. I can’t wait to have this conversation with you and to share it with everyone.
Absolutely, sweetheart. So let’s begin where I love starting, giving people context about your background. Who are you and what brought you into the media career trajectory?
Well, I grew up in a small village on the outskirts of London and I loved my childhood and growing up and the people I was around, but I suddenly decided I want to be in the media. And I looked around and realized, nobody had taken that path before. And so I had to forge a path for myself and I had to knock on doors and find the people who could give me advice on how to break into the media world.Â
So from around the age of 15, 16, I started getting as much work experience as I could and as much exposure to the media world as I could to say, what skills do I need to become a journalist? What skills do I need to become a presenter or reporter? Like the people I’m seeing on TV and how do I go about getting them? And so I knocked on doors, I got work experience and all the time while I was studying, I was doing work experience placements and I very fortunately found a charity who saw in me, you know, screen skills and they said, we think you’d be great on camera. We’d really like you to be the person who asks questions and tours with us across the country.Â
And so from a young age, I was interviewing young people like myself about their stories and having that exposure to people like me, who were able to open up and share their stories from different parts of the community, in different areas that I’d never seen before, because I grew up in this small village. We didn’t really go past the places we lived in. I started realizing that there were so many stories out there.Â
The stories led me to traveling the country with them, asking other people their stories, and interviewing decision-makers and MPs in Parliament at the age of 16 saying what’s your story, how are you driving the story for the rest of the country and the people like me who are sitting at home who have questions, and so I started interviewing decision makers and I thought this is the place I want to be so I forged a path and here I am.
Here you are. It’s been 10 years, right sweetheart? Like a great 10 year career trajectory. Can you share some highlights from your career and why those particular memories stand out for you?
That’s a great question because I think every day is a highlight when you’re on the path to your dream and then living your dream. And there’s always more ambition, but I’m really happy about where I am today because this was always the goal. You know, young Anila, this is where she wanted to be. So the highlight really is right from the roots of being in a home where my parents trusted me and had the confidence and belief in me to go out and seek my dream and make it happen.Â
Every day is a highlight when you're on the path to your dream and then living your dream.
The highlight is when I knocked on doors and people said ‘Yes, come in and meet us for a coffee and we can advise you on the skills you need to get to where you want to be’. The highlight is sometimes getting rejections, but the fact that people even responded to me meant that they knew my name and that I was exposed to them in that way. Because one rejection doesn’t mean rejection altogether, it means you’ve made a connection with somebody.
Oh my God, that’s powerful right there.
So everything’s been a highlight because without every step on the journey, I wouldn’t be where I am today.Â
I love it when people look back on their lives and they say, the good, the bad, the ugly, whatever it was that I went through in my life has gotten me here and I like where I am. And then when that’s your present narrative, then all of the things that happened, the shit show to the glorious moments, they all feel like a milestone that was positive.
Completely, and I think it’s about honouring your journey and I do honour my journey because I’m not somebody who has regret. I believe that we make decisions in the moment based on how we feel and the knowledge we have and that’s always going to grow and so you know everything is an opportunity to learn and yeah I do believe in respecting and honouring my journey.
Absolutely. I feel that when you infuse that energy in what you do, in what you believe in your value system is in the world out there, good things eventually happen. Because it’s, I really do believe in that. And I feel like this whole ideology, this ‘woo woo’ of what confidence means is something that I feel that everybody needs to tap into. And it’s not something that anyone’s born with.Â
No matter what people think, you’re not born with confidence. Confidence is an ever-growing, ever-evolving definition for each individual, depending on their circumstances and their experiences. This is what I believe in. I wanna dive right into that part of the conversation, Anila, what is confidence to you? Let’s go there, girl.
Confidence, to me, is knowing who you are. And as you’ve correctly pointed out there, it’s ever evolving. But for the moment you’re in, the more you know who you’re, the more you can tap into who you want to become. And that’s a really powerful place to be.Â
So I say fundamentally confidence is knowing who you are, because when you know you are, you’re able to make better decisions. You’re able to communicate more authentically and with integrity, which is one of my key values. The words you say, the thoughts you have, the actions you show are an integral part of your being. When you’re able to communicate from that level, fundamentally from who you are, that I believe is confidence.
Can confidence be taught?
Absolutely, and I think that is one of the things I’m loving doing with my life right now. I didn’t realize how necessary it is, I did not realize how many people want to feel more confident and in different scenarios and situations, but I really enjoy teaching the skills on how to build your confidence because it’s building blocks, but it can be learnt and that is really, I’m absolutely loving that part of my journey now and sharing those skills with people.
I can’t wait to dive into that part of it. This incredible workshop that you’ve put together from your own life’s experiences, from your academic journey, from all the things that have brought you to this point in your life. I want to, you perhaps preface that with a little bit more of a stepped approach so that people can get into the mindset of why confidence is important. Why is confidence important?
Confidence is important because ultimately, we are surrounded by people all the time. When we communicate, you can either do it from a place of fear or perhaps imposter syndrome, or not in a way that is your best self. For me, I believe because I’m so driven by people, because I am so motivated by people and their stories, it’s been at the heart of what I’ve been doing from such a young age, finding out what people’s stories are, giving them a platform to share their stories, and I’ve done that for years and years now.Â
I believe that everybody has a unique story. And if I can empower people to share their story and own their story with confidence, starting with them feeling confident about it themselves and understanding why their story is so unique and important, I think that’s such a powerful way to then communicate because ultimately you can make a choice of do you want to go into a situation where you’re communicating where you half yourself or your best self.Â
Everybody has the opportunity to be their best self in every situation, it just requires tools and practice, and it does require work and practice, but it can be done. It’s so important, again, because we are surrounded by people and confidence in that sense is important because of communication, power of communication and making connections. But also it’s because if you just go to a social event, let’s say you’ve gone to the pub and you’ve gotten to meet your friends and you’re not feeling very good, you’ve had a hard day at work, you still have a choice of how do you want to leave people feeling?Â
Because ultimately when people go home and they go to bed at the end of the day, do you want them to remember you as being the one who drained them or the one that energized them and left them feeling positive? So for me it’s all about how we leave people feeling and what it is that we want to share of ourselves with others, so those are a few reasons really why confidence is so important.
It’s really interesting because you said something that really touched upon something that I’ve experienced, Anila. And that is this whole idea of, when you leave someone with a sense of positivity, it reminds you that is where you imbibe from. When you leave with a sense of negativity, then where are you at in your life? That’s your mode of communication. That’s what you left someone with. Your comment on that?
Yeah, and I believe that that’s why it’s important that you ensure that your cup is always full. And because we are around people, we are humans who are a collective, you know? We bring our individual stories, but ultimately we’re always touching lives. Whether you’re walking past somebody on the street, whether you’re sitting on the tube and you’ve made eye contact with somebody, these are all… small interactions that can have an impact to make a difference.Â
You might walk past somebody on the street and decide to say hello, you might make eye contact with someone on the tube and smile. Those small bits of interaction are always a show of who you are as a person, because you’ve decided that’s who you want to be. And it’s when your cup is full that you’re able to do that because you’re saying, I’ve done what I need to do, I know who I am, I know what my values are, I’m in a good place, I’ve had a good cup of coffee this morning, I looked up at the skies, I heard the birds tweeting, whatever it is that fills your cup and makes you happy for those interactions, because you could change someone’s day, you could change someone’s life in just a very small interaction.
Absolutely, It’s interesting because, when I’ve thought about the notion of confidence, because of The Open Chest Confidence Academy, the entire concept is themed around what this notion means. And to me it always comes back to how confident am I with communicating with myself, with the people around me, with the higher purpose of divinity, all of these things. I really go into that. I want your thoughts on, is delving that deep to understand how you communicate with yourself and all these other modes of communication important for you to determine your version of how you show up in confidence?
That’s a really good question. And I think sometimes a lack of confidence can come from what people tell themselves. Somebody may say, I’m an introvert. And I ask, does that serve you to believe that? Because if it doesn’t, decide to say that you’re an extrovert, if that’s what’s going to help you open up. So the conversations we have with ourselves are so important.Â
I like to treat myself as I would a friend because I know that I’m kind to my friends. So I’ll be kind to myself if I treat myself as a friend. Because our thoughts are so powerful. Our thoughts can become our words, which become our actions and become how we present ourselves in the world. So go as deep as you need to know who you are, so that when it comes out and what comes out of you is a true reflection of who you want to be and how you’re showing up.Â
I love what you said about even conversations you have with yourself and the people around you in your home. I remember when I became an ambassador of the menstrual charity Binti and we used to have a code word for period as we call it in the UK. We used to use the code word in our home because we didn’t want people to know we were talking about menstruation, and when the CEO of the charity approached me and said ‘when you want to create change, it has to begin in your home. So the first thing you need to do is stop using a code word.’ And so we didn’t, and it was difficult. It was difficult to start saying, I’m on my period. I’ve got a stomach ache from having those conversations around the men in the house. Now I’m constantly posting about it on my social media. My dad and my granddad are always liking my posts and it’s become normal in our home. And I do believe that that has really changed a lot of the way I think, that if you can change the way a conversation is happening in your home, you’ve got more chance of changing the conversation in society.
If you can change the way a conversation is happening in your home, you've got more chance of changing the conversation in society.
My gosh, I absolutely agree with you. And you know, you just touched upon something and we’re going to go there now. How is the idea of confidence different for women than it is for men, if at all?
I read a statistic that said women are more likely to experience imposter syndrome. So I do think there is a difference according to the different statistics I’ve read, but ultimately I think everyone’s on their own journey and everyone is individual, unique, has their own obstacles, challenges and life paths, and I think everybody in that sense I see as somebody who can learn to be confident.Â
Yes, the statistics might show that women experience things more. But ultimately, I just see everybody as human and capable of learning whatever they want to learn and grow in the way they want to grow.
Absolutely. I feel that also comes from a little bit of your story that you’ve shared with us that you got support at home to be able to step into your life’s purpose. And I think that is commendable, but it’s not always the narrative that women face. So I know that you’ve met women like that. What advice have you given to those women who haven’t gotten that support at home because they’re starting from a different ground zero than perhaps you are.
The advice I give is to really hone in on who they are. Because generally, the lack of confidence, it can be a lack of confidence to speak up because of the different structures that they’re around. But I think it’s that inner confidence that can then help them. And sometimes it is about if they can sit with themselves and say, these are my values, this is who I am, this is what I want to be, they’ve got more of a chance of challenging, perhaps the limiting structures around them. It’s not always easy, but I think if you have that inner confidence, it can help.Â
And so the advice I give and the work we do is really, I say, let’s start to focus on you, because what you’ve spoken about there, some of these women are in is a focus on the outside and a focus on the external and often it’s people pleasing and make fear of judgment and fear of shame and stigma and it’s about challenging those but doing it from a place of authenticity so we’re saying actually what’s your story how do you feel about what you’ve been through how do you feel about the story, how do you feel about your live trajectory?Â
And is it actually how the people around you have made you feel? Or is it, are you taking the direction that you want to go in or that perhaps your parents or family or society want you to take? And how are you gonna shift that? And how do we work together on shifting that so that you’re in a place where you want it to be?
We are getting to that point where we’re going to be deep diving the workshop series that you have created. I can’t wait to get there. But I want to ask you a few more questions, a few things that just help us better understand your framing.Â
How have you built confidence in your life? What is it in you that you’ve gleaned? Is it something that’s in your life or is it something that’s come from within? Share that a little bit so we can get context around you and the idea of what confidence has been as your journey.
Actually, the way you put it, it probably is a mix of internal and external. And it has been from a really young age, which is why I put the confidence workshop together, really, because my family have always called me confident, and it’s been my middle name. And I’ve been confident for as long as I can remember. I was a confident child, but it has been a mix of internal/external circumstances and thoughts that have led me to be this confident.Â
When I was growing up, I was a high achiever. So I was always praised in school. I was set as an example and that was from my primary school years. I had a lot of friends, but I got on well with the teachers as well. So I’m in a good position there where, you know, I had peers, but also I had respect with people who are older than me. And then as I went through my school life, that continued. I continued getting some of the highest grades my school had ever seen.Â
I went onto business competitions and I received an AS level before I’d even left school. So the high achievement and the praise was there and the recognition and the respect from my friends and also people who were my teachers, who I’m still in touch with, and friends with some of my teachers on social media, which is so nice. And we have great memories together from my school life.Â
Then the internal was probably the conversations I had with the people around me, where I was surrounded by my aunt who were trailblazers. They loved education. So we were always given books, and I loved reading as I grew up. I could not go to bed without a nighttime story. I loved reading, I was always internalizing, inspiring books and having the conversations around me about reading and education. My parents were market traders. So I used to go to the markets with them.Â
From a young age, I was having to sell menswear because that’s how my parents made money. So we had to sell. And so it’s all these conversations that I had that I think built my confidence, because then when I wanted to become a journalist, no was never an option, it was never an answer. If it’s a ‘no’ there, I’ll go somewhere else. If I can’t do it this way, I’ll do it that way. So it’s a lot of internalization of conversations and beliefs as well as, you know, a lot from the external, so it’s a bit of both.
I love it. And you know, what I’m hearing you say here is that it is constantly evolving. You’re constantly putting more into that bucket of confidence, right? Things are changing, and what I love about you is that you appreciate every single aspect of every experience and the relationships that you’ve had in your life.Â
You truly are a connector. It makes sense that you would be in the media. It would make sense that you would pick up that mic and truly want to engage with people and understand what makes them tick. I get that sense from just the ideology behind who I’m feeling you are.Â
I have to ask you this because, and they probably in your case won’t be just the one person, but I’m wondering if there is, is there anyone in your personal life that you feel exemplifies just the highest level of what you perceive confidence to be at this point in your time.
That’s an interesting question. Like you said, it’s not just one person, because I look around and I see confidence in everyone, but in their own way. Somebody might be quieter than me, but they shine in a different way. And confidence shows up in so many different ways, and everyone has the capability, it is just about the growth of it.
I look around and I see confidence in everyone, but in their own way. Somebody might be quieter than me, but they shine in a different way. And confidence shows up in so many different ways, and everyone has the capability, it is just about the growth of it.
That’s the answer. I will take that as an answer so looking across history, let’s take you there then before we get into talking about your workshop. Who stands out to you as a figure of confidence in its highest form? Is there someone that you can pinpoint and I know again there’ll be many, is it just someone that can pinpoint that you always go back to to say that that person exemplifies it for me. Tell me who the person is and tell me why you feel that way about them.
Yeah, so I did always grow up loving Angelina Jolie. I love how she carries herself. She’s beautiful. But what I always loved was that she had a craft which she’s really good at, exceptional. She’s one of the best actresses in the world. And she’s used her platform and the fame and the exposure to raise awareness of issues and causes that she’s passionate about.Â
So she didn’t decide to just stick to her craft. and be the best at it. She decided to shine a light on others while she was doing it. So for me, I’ve always loved her and I’ve always said the bigger my voice and the bigger the platform the more I’ll do to help others. So that’s really been a driving force for me and she has been my inspiration.
If you would encapsulate what that definition of confidence is, what would it be?
It would be – being whole. And when I say being whole, it’s not that we’re not ever evolving and ever changing, it’s knowing who you are, how you carry yourself so that your words, your mind, your soul and your body are all connected, so much so that it doesn’t matter what you’re facing in your life, you’re guided by your purpose and we’ve seen with Angelina Jolie, the ups and downs of her life, but she’s continued being driven by her purpose, and I think that is really exceptional. I think that confidence is that it doesn’t matter where life takes you, being driven by a purpose and being whole in that moment is really important.
I think that confidence is that it doesn't matter where life takes you, being driven by a purpose and being whole in that moment is really important.
I agree with you. Confidence is being driven by your purpose. Oh my God, I love that. As a media personality, Anila, appearing with confidence is crucial to solicit trust in your audience, right? Like we know this, especially when you’re imparting the news, then it’s even like times 10. Not seeing your audience which typically is the case nowadays, it’s even harder to accomplish that because there’s not that sense of energy that you’re getting from the live audience experience. How do you imbibe the confidence and trust connection?
This is a very important question for me, because trust is really important. And I think that is layered in the sense that I believe I have to trust myself before others can trust me. So I know that I have the skills to be able to execute the job in the way that is required of me and people expect of me to the standards of. And it’s also that not only have the skills but also the integrity that when people trust me with their stories I’m able to say because I have the skill, because I do interview, I edit the pieces as well so I have full editorial control over the bits that I’m choosing from an interview, that I am able to turn around and say I will share your story as authentically as you’ve shared it with me.Â
So the trust is multi-layered, but because I come to each story with that, and with that level of people are trusting me to give them the right information or to share their story, authentically, and I come with that integrity, I think that’s one part of it. And then in terms of, yes, I’m talking to a camera rather than a person, I never see it like I’m looking into a camera, but I always know that, for me, the camera is the person because I have sat at home and watched the news and I know that that person is talking to me sitting at home. So I imagine people sitting at home, and like somebody’s turned on the TV and I’m talking to them, so I always imagine a real person.
I love that. And maybe that is a key to confidence on some level as well is for people to not see a thing, but to see a who, right? So let’s tap now a little bit into the area of your workshop. It’s a very well-known fact, we all know this, that people are more fearful of public speaking than most anything else in life, right, when you are putting yourself out there.Â
Before we begin, I want to ask you, what have you found this to be attributed to? Because we all say, oh, you know, I’m scared to speak in front of people, but what is like, what is that core that we can attribute this fear to?
It’s different for everyone. For some people, it stems from childhood. For some, it’s later in life. It can be one experience, it could be multiple, so it’s different everybody.
Yeah, absolutely. So it’s meeting the person where they’re at then, basically.
Yes, exactly. And it is about finding where the fear stems from, completely, but it’s saying, okay, you’ve had that experience, but where are you now? And we’re saying, let’s work with that to resolve it as far as we can. That experience no longer meets you where you are today in a way that’s showing up for you in a way that doesn’t serve you.
And that’s what it comes down to, right? And this has been a theme of the conversation I’m having with you today is, does the thing serve you or not, right. This has been the big premise of the conversations that we’ve been weaving throughout, today.Â
I wanna ask you, when you’re in, when Anila is in a situation where you feel intimidated, I don’t know if you ever do, But when you do, if you look back, or maybe nervous about speaking in public because now you’re dealing with a live audience, there’s a certain energy in the room, or something just came about last minute that’s kind of disoriented you – because that’s what happens when you host events, right? What do you do to combat that?
Yeah, that’s a good question. And I will have to really think hard because I’ve been doing it for so long, I don’t really experience that. And the intimidation. I don’t think I’ve felt intimidated because I’ve always seen people as people and I believe everyone has something to bring to life so for me everybody is their own individual person but everyone is human we’re all human so I’ve never felt a need to be intimidated by anything or anyone.
Oh, my god. Wow. Like, that’s a big wow. Because, you know, as women, from different backgrounds, often the masculine toxicity at some point rears its ugly head. And generally, women tend to cower before they step into their power. Talk to me, comment on that.
I think it depends on what you want to achieve. And I think with me, because I love learning and I see every experience and connection as a way to learn or grow or meet someone and connect. Intimidation has never come into it for me because, and it could be because of my journey. When I started in the media, I didn’t know anybody. So I went to networking events and saw them as networking opportunities.Â
It was either you do it or you don’t. Either I was going to make it or I wouldn’t. And the wouldn’t part never came into it because I was like, if that person can do it, so can I. That people are doing it, so that means there’s a route to it. I just need to find out what that route is. So it never occurred to me that I wouldn’t do it. It was always, I’m going to make it happen.Â
I used to go to events and go up to people and speak to them and introduce myself. And I was never intimidated because if I didn’t get those business cards and make those interactions and have those conversations, I wouldn’t be able to get closer to my goal. So I think it’s important for people to think, what do I want to take from this? As much as it is, as we’ve spoken about before, as much as is, how do we want to leave people feeling? And what’s the purpose of the interaction and conversation?Â
People have come to my workshop and we do talk about hierarchies because a lot of workplaces have hierarchy and people can feel intimidated by their managers. It’s not just women, men as well. And I say, well, your manager is still a human being. They still have X, Y, Z in their life. They still eat, they go to the gym, they have relationships, they have kids. There’ll be something that you can connect with that you have in common that humanizes them. Because structures may be in place in a workplace, but outside the workplace, they’re not. So it’s about finding a way to normalize the person because at the end of the day, we’re all people.
What a great segue into talking about your workshop. It is called Create Public Speaking Confidence. Can you share with everyone watching, and listening, and reading this? What should they expect from this workshop when they come into it with you?
I literally took pen to paper and I’ve put down my thought processes and the steps I take before I’m about to go and speak in public. And during the pandemic, everyone was going online. And I thought, what more can I do to help people during this time? And now that everyone’s going online and using online tools, I thought, let me put together a confidence workshop.Â
And it has evolved because now it’s not just about public speaking. actually it’s about ‘how do I communicate who I am?’ Which has been a really lovely thing for me because I did put this down from what I know. It’s my own experiences, the tools and techniques all delivered through different activities and discussions, that’s two-way discussion. And I ask questions and we pick things apart. It’s been such a nice process for myself as well to see the confidence workshop grow.Â
And it is split into different sections. We go from facing your fears to talking about your purpose, finding your purpose, exploring your values to being able to speak spontaneously in different situations and not stumbling if you’re asked a question on the spot. So there’s so many different aspects to the workshop but even though it’s split into different sections it can be applied to different scenarios.Â
Every time I work with somebody it’s tailored to their situation. So it may be that they want to learn how to speak spontaneously on a panel or it might be in a social situation. So yeah, it’s worked really well so far. Some people have said it’s changed their lives and I just love seeing them expressing themselves as the best version they feel they can be. It’s amazing to see how their confidence grows after the workshop.Â
And as I said, my own workshop has been evolving because it’s gone from focusing on networking events, giving presentations, giving speeches, speaking in social environments to saying, how am I showing up in my everyday life to be more of who I am and more of what I want to be.
Absolutely. So when a person signs up to come into your workshop, what should they expect? Is this like an in-person workshop? Is it open, you know, and accessible globally, virtually? Is it like one day? Is it a series of months? Like break that all down for us.
Yes, so, luckily for everyone watching and listening, it can be done online, so for anywhere in the world. And I have had people who aren’t based in the UK, who have been to the workshop, and it’s really tailored. So you may want to do an hour, you may want to do three hours, the workshop you may want to take longer, and because confidence and growing confidence is a journey. It really is tailored to each individual, where you’re at.Â
I always say to people, this is what’s on offer. And if you feel you want one session to start with, and then you want longer, and then feel you wanna continue, that’s up to you entirely, because it’s about where you are at, what you might need it for. You might think, I’ve got an interview coming up, I want to learn some interview skills. And then suddenly you’ve been placed into a managerial role where you’re having to give presentations and lead board meetings every week and you need some more coaching. So yeah, it’s tailored and individual to everybody and where they’re at in life. And it can be done online and in person.
Perfect. Let me ask you this, is it presented one-on-one or in a group environment? Is it an evergreen program that they step into and they have videos of you? How is the experience for them to go through this?
If you contacted me saying you’d like one of my confidence workshops, and I would say okay let’s find a time and a date that works for you, how long would you like with me, what are the areas you want to work on, based on the areas you tell me you want work on I would suggest a time length of time you’d need with me but again, I leave it open-ended entirely up to the person and what they’re comfortable with and what they want to commit to because ultimately, a confidence workshop is investing in yourself. So it’s as much as you want to invest in yourself that is entirely up to the individual.Â
And then we’ll do a session just speaking online and it’s one-to-one with me. It’s me listening and talking and teaching and helping as much so I can from the tools and techniques that I have. It is a workshop, but as we’ve just been talking about confidence and a confident mindset, it might require me to say, okay, let me tap into this part of my knowledge. Let me tap into this part of my life, let me tap into this part of my mindset, but maybe I haven’t written down because it was about public speaking, but I know it because I have a confidence mindset. So it’s an evolving workshop where really you get more than what’s on the paper because It’s me delivering it.
What’s better than that, it’s the most high touch, high quality way of learning a skill is when you get the expert, one-on-one. I can attest to that as well. I have been on the client side of that. I’ve also been the expert that’s done that. And whether you are the teacher or the student, the value is massive. I’m always a student. So this is how you get to be a better teacher than to master your skill. Right, Anila? You’re constantly learning.Â
So I want to ask you this. Is there a specific type of person that you would generally feel is the best fit for this? Or do you feel it’s open to everyone? So I guess in other words, what I’m asking is do you get the people that come to you to decide whether you do or do not want to work with them?
Growing confidence is available to everyone. I would say if it’s something specific, for example, that I don’t have knowledge and expertise in because I’m not a therapist. So it might be something where somebody feels that they have an issue they want to work through and I can identify, okay, that’s not something that I can help with because I’m not a qualified therapist.Â
So, yes, there may be times when I say actually I’m not qualified to help with that, or I think you’re better placed going and seeking advice elsewhere. But generally in terms of confidently showing up and speaking confidently, then that’s open to everyone. But there may be specifics that people need other expert help from.
That makes total sense. How can people sign up to work with you, Anila?
Well, I am on LinkedIn, Instagram, I have a website aniladhami.com. My socials are all @aniladhami. So drop me a message, drop me an email, contact me wherever you like, really, because I do get back to people.
I love that you just said that I do as well, sweetheart, even as busy as I am, right, I actually it may take me a while, but I actually, I read my emails, and I genuinely want to know if I am the right person for them, or if it’s a different team member or if someone external. So you may not always get me if I don’t feel I’m the person that’s best suited to what you’re coming to me for.Â
And I feel that level of transparency is also important. Like you don’t want to try and be what the person wants you to be if it’s not your area of expertise. And I feel that that’s what we’ve been talking about a little bit here. I wanna ask you this, is the best gift or rather, why would the best give you can ever give yourself confidence like. Let’s encapsulate this entire conversation we’ve been having.
I’m going to put it really simply. We only have one life. Live it to its fullest and live it to your best.
We only have one life. Live it to its fullest and live it to your best.
I love it. Oh my gosh. Yeah, it’s that simple. And I love that. So I wanna ask you, I personally found that learning to be confident is something that is ongoing. It is ongoing for me because my narrative has been very different from yours where I’ve been that woman that has had everything in the way, to me figuring out that I’m in fact, the important one here.Â
I’ve always belonged to someone, someone’s sister, someone, wife, someone’s mother, someone’s colleague at work or whatever or someone’s friend. It’s always been other people’s perspectives that have been put onto me. And then determining through all of that, you know which parts of those are actually truly authentic to who I am.Â
So, even though I talk about confidence and I come from it, from the place of the person that literally had to build that from scratch and I didn’t have a support system around me.
Which is amazing, and well done, you.
Thank you, my darling. And this is why for me, it’s ongoing. Like I just keep getting a different definition of what confidence means to me in any given era of my life. So to have someone like you, for someone like me, when I look back over my life, what a gift you would have been.Â
This is why I encourage everyone watching, listening and reading this wherever you are, or if there’s someone that you know. that really, really will resonate with this. I want you to send them this. I want you to go and say hello to Anila and I want you to set up that call with her. I think it’s something that will change the trajectory of your life just from a place of how you see yourself before you even start unwinding the onion of life. Your thoughts, Anila, anything you wanna add to that.
Well, thank you. Thank you, because it’s from your experience to know that that’s how you feel, fills me with joy and also I’m really proud of you because our paths have met now and you know you’re stunning, you have such a stunning energy and I love that you did come from that place that you’ve just described but you’re where you’re at now and I think you’ve done yourself such a service because you’re incredible.
Oh, sweetheart, I feel the same way about you. I just know that we’re gonna do lots of great things together. We were meant to meet when we met, right? Like the timing, the timing is divine. And I just know that you are gonna see a lot more of me and Anila in some capacity because I just know that we were meant to do something together that is gonna benefit your lives and then in turn benefit ours.Â
Because we get a lot out of that experience of helping others. So as I get ready to close off, is there anything that we haven’t talked about that you would like to share with everyone here? I wanna close off giving you that opportunity.
Well, your questions have been amazing. So I feel we’ve covered so much and I just really hope people do get something from this conversation. I really do, because ultimately we’re having this conversation for other people. We want people to be their best selves and get as many tools and tips as they can from this. So, I really just hope everyone listening gets as much as they can from it because that’s why we’re here to give.
Absolutely, sweetheart, and the more I think about this and I think of your narrative and where you came from and my narrative and I came from, and we’re in this place where our goal is the same or similar on many levels.Â
What an interesting workshop that would be, what an interesting mastermind or masterclass that would be, guys, you heard it here first. I’m going in a direction now. How interesting would that be for people that they get both versions of where people come from? Yes, we’re going to do something sweetheart. I know. Let’s do it for now. I want you to hang out with Anila, AnilaDhami.com. Go check her out on her LinkedIn. Go see what she’s all about.Â
Send this episode to everyone that you feel needs to glean wisdom from it, knowledge from it needs to hear this. And you’ll know who those people are in addition to yourself.Â
Darling, thank you so much for coming on and sharing your insights. So much to glean from. You are a woman to admire. Thank you.Â
Thank you, thank you for having me.Â
Absolutely. And folks, if you like what you saw here, go hang out with Anila. I’m going to keep saying it over and over again. Her workshop is Create Public Speaking Confidence. She truly imbibes all of what that means and so much more as you’ve gotten from this conversation.Â
And I can’t wait to see you next time with another great conversation with another fascinating human, just like Anila. Take care of yourselves and I cannot wait for you to give us comments and also tell us what else you’d like us to do here on this show to help you on that journey so that you truly do win. Thank you.
